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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Why My Baby Is Awake


He's hungry.

He has to poop, and doesn't want to miss it.

He has gas, and needs to be awake for that too.

His stomach is slightly uncomfortable because of one of the above.

He heard a scary noise.

He imagined a scary noise.

The ceiling fan is distracting him.

The ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on the ceiling is distracting him.

He woke up with his arms swaddled and is pissed.

He whapped himself in the face with an unswaddled arm, and now wants to be swaddled again.

He has a pacifier in his mouth and can't figure out how to spit it out.

He spit his pacifier out and wants it back.

His mom is so fascinating, he doesn't want to miss a second of her life.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

How New Moms Tweet


Day 1: Our little one is here! Long list of birth stats no one cares much about!

Day 3: Baby sleeps so much! Why do moms complain about no sleep?

Day 14: WHY WON'T THIS BABY SLEEP?!?

Day 15: Newborn diapers don't even stink! Hurrah!

Day 20: Oh dear God, how can something so small smell so bad?!?

Day 30: Things I have worn today: spit up, poo, pee.

Day 35: I can't believe I'm still wearing maternity clothes. This sucks.

Day 36: Took a shower today! Hurrah! No more spit up in my hair!

Day 40: Baby slept 3 whole hours in a row!!!!

Day 45: Poo everywhere. Ugh. Why does this always happen at midnight?!?

Day 47: Baby's poo is green/brown/orange. IS THIS NORMAL?!?

Day 48: Can't believe my primary concern in life has become the color of someone's poo.

Day 50: Bored . . . baby sleeps all day.

Day 60: Baby is awake more! Smiling! Cooing! Woohoo!

Day 61: Bored. Baby is awake, no idea what to do with him.

Day 62: Need. Adult. Conversation. Starbucks anyone???

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Mom-Saver Mondays: Swaddles


(A day late and a dollar short, sorry.)

It's clear to me that Mother Nature made a grave error: babies should not be born with arms.

They can't control them. They're allllllll over the place. My baby is 2 months old today, and still punches me in the face (inadvertently . . . I hope) on a daily basis.

Arms clearly should grow in later.

This is never more obvious than at night, when your sweetly sleeping (ha!) angel suddenly flails his arms and whaps himself in the face.

That's a pretty crappy wake up call.

And if you don't do something about, he's going to keep whapping himself in the face, on and off, throughout the entire night.

That means a terrible night's sleep for you, and a pretty crappy one for him too.

Enter, the swaddle.

Just wrap your baby up like a burrito, pinning his flailing arms at his sides, and he'll sleep soundly.

If you've ever tried to swaddle your baby with a blanket yourself, you know how tricky it is. Like putting an octopus in a pullover. And even if you manage to get baby wrapped up snugly, he still finds a way to wiggle a hand out and scratch himself awake.

These things are the answer:



Have you ever seen a baby look more like a burrito? These things have velcro all over the place to make swaddling easy and permanent. Well, at least until you're ready to release the Kraken. My baby is napping in one as we speak--he's wiggling and squirming all over the place, but his arms are trapped and he's yet to smack himself awake. Thank God. 

Go buy a few of these right away. They say arm control doesn't develop until 3-4 months. That's a lot of lost sleep.

Note: I have not been compensated in any way for this review. I have not been given a free product, as lovely as that would be. In the future, should you want to offer me things for free to review, go for it. For now, anything I review was paid for out of my own pocket, and I offer the review out of the goodness of my heart.