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Thursday, January 17, 2013

6 People Who Shouldn't Be Pro-creating

It used to be when you had questions about pregnancy, making babies, etc., you would ask your doctor or a trusted, experienced family member for advice.

But now, we have the Internet, where you can post your inane questions for the whole world to see, and to be answered by "expectant mothers" who are bored 14-year-old boys, for all you know.

These are actual questions posted on pregnancy message boards, from women who are purportedly trying to get pregnant, yet are clearly not ready to be mothers, or possibly humans--not just because of the content of the questions, but because they may actually trust the responses they get from a pack of unidentified strangers on the Internet.

My husband and I have been having sex all the right times and I do have signs but, I dont know if they are real or if they are sympathy signs because my sister in law is pregnant.  [Long list of inane "signs" that have nothing to do with pregnancy.] Could I be feeling all this because of my sister inlaw?   

 Exactly how much time are you spending with your sister-in-law?? Also, no. Take a damn pregnancy test and quit being a drama queen.

Last week I put a tampon in on a lightish day, I went to change it and it was gone! I know I put it in after I got out of the shower and there was no tampon in the trash. I reached up in there and couldn't find it. I used pads the rest of my period hoping it would come out on its own. It never did.
I did have sex after a few days ago and my DH didn't say anything. If you were me would you go to the Dr.?

You . . . thought a tampon got lost, and then proceeded to have sex. These are the kinds of smarts you should definitely be passing on to future generations! Also, why does this need to be posted to a message board full of functioning women who just want to conceive babies and not hear about your inability to keep track of your tampons?

My fertility is the first week of Feb, and I want to conceive quickly, by the end of Feb if possible, so any tidbits or hints are much appreciated and welcome. We are moving in march to our new home. I want everything all settled and done before then.

Yep, that's how conception works. If you have big move coming up, you just do it on exactly the right day--which a board full of strangers can predict for you--and BAM! Preggo! Although, gee, why is there an entire INDUSTRY dedicated to women trying to conceive if it's as easy as knowing all the "tidbits or hints" . . . ?
I know people have different thoughts/opinions on if the female orgasm helps getting pregnant. Well, i have never had an orgasm during sex.. And can't. So last night, DH and I finished in doggie style, I grabbed a towel to hold the juice in, and just layed on my stomach and manually . . .

Sorry about your sex problems, but a towel over your lady parts isn't going to hold anything useful in. Also, I guess it's none of my business, but couldn't your husband be being a little more . . . helpful?

I've read that boxer briefs can really lower sperm count which my DH wears. I'm worried that this may a cause a problem w us TTC. We're ready to have a BFP but read that it takes 12 weeks to create new sperm. Worried this may cause problems w us TTC.
1) You've just started trying and you're already worried about something as inane as underwear?
2) 12 weeks?? That's a lifetime! This is clearly an emergency--you can't be expected to wait 3 whole months to get pregnant!
3) Buy your husband some new freaking underwear if you're that concerned. Problem solved! 
If someone sneezes in your vagina, can you get a cold? Assuming the sneezer has a cold, of course. 


Note: yes, it is entirely possible that these 6 women trying to conceive are actually Internet trolls. Lord, I hope so.

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